Season 2: Episode III

The chapter of Tanvi!

I think, you guys are getting as confused as I am right now. For you, to understand my position, I should tell you something about myself.

Two to three years back, if someone of you had known me, you wouldn’t have accepted at all that I’m the same person today. This love-thing, it was crap and perfect example of extreme stupidity to me. I was so against it, that when my best friend found the perfect love for her, I betted her that it’s just hopeless and she’ll have to face a break-up within no time.

No. I was not extremist. But, after spending 18 years of my life in metropolitan areas of Hyd, Mumbai and Pune, I saw many break-ups and casual relationships. And obviously I never believed in it or never trusted that really someone could love someone for no reason.

Until… This guy, Mihir Doot, came into my life. Don’t be surprised, but his first impression on me was not the best certainly. What will be your opinion about a guy who has never attended a single lecture in a whole year? Isn’t it the proof of carelessness, no sincerity towards own future and neglecting responsibilities? About him, the same opinion was mine. And yet, just after talking to him a couple of times, made my mind changed opinions about him without any reason.

I never got to know, how the time ran so fast whenever I used to talk with him. I could talk to him for hours and never once I felt like saying goodbye. But, jealous clock used to ding-dong announcing the time. Soon, I realized, that I used to come online only to find out whether he’s online or not. And that was a shock to me!

How could I have a liking towards someone, without approval of myself? Why did I want to talk to him? As I’ve already said, it has to be my decision that whom should I like. And this was certainly not my decision this time. Certainly something different was happening to me. No. I can’t let this happen. That’s it. And I decided, I’ll stop talking to Mihir. That’s the best way. And I tried my best to do that. But, like Saif in Hum Tum says, Har kisi ki kahani hoti hai, aur jaise jaise hum aur logo se milte hai, unki kahani humari kahani se jud jati hai. Isliye Hum-Tum fir se milenge to zaroor, kyunki ye life bahut lambi hai.

And really, Hum-Tum, I mean we always came across each other no matter how hard I tried not to. And everytime, it was getting harder not talking to him. For nearly a year, I tried and failed at this experiment again and again. My god, I’m so happy that it wasn’t an exam. Else, I would never ever have passed it.

It might be a very straight forward situation for many of you, but it wasn’t for me. For a girl, who never understood what the hell is this love, who had her career at the top of her priority list, belonging to a family who never ever would accept such a relationship. I just wasn’t able to accept that I really liked this guy. How is it possible to like a guy with whom I’ve never talked face to face, about whom I knew hardly anything. After all, so far we were just texting friends and we heard news about each other through friends.

I always felt that Mihir likes me. He must be thinking about me. All the poems he writes, he does it for me. And as soon as that moment used to pass, I used to turn my back on these thoughts. Maybe, it’s me. Maybe, I want him to think about me, write poems for me. Maybe he has never thought about ‘we’ as ‘us’. Maybe he is just as friendly to everyone. What was that really?

Then, after 12^th, he was going to BITS for his Engineering. And even I was gearing up for the same, until…

Until, my parents decided NO. Imagine the scenario. All the hard work I put for last two years was going in the garbage. After saying no to IITs and NITs, a no for BITS as well. A big fight at home. I was really heartbroken and a little depressed. It was a hard time for me.

When he left for Pilani, I felt really bad. I was all confused, angry, depressed, rebellious… Bad times they were. But again, I was a little relieved too. All that Mihir chapter was over from my life. Maybe, I was trying to find something positive in all that chaos.

Life goes on. So true. Sun came up every day without any mistake, changing the date of calendar, taking Mihir out of my mind slowly. I started to feel as if Mihir’s chapter was out of my life now.

            And when I thought everything was coming back to normal, out of nowhere, a storm came into my life. Here enters a new character – Omkar.

TO BE CONTINUED . . .

Season 2: Episode II

It’s me, Tanvi!

18^th July, 2008

‘OH MY GOD!!!!!’

My first words after reading so called ‘Project Details’! Finally! Wow! Shit! It can’t be! It’s not possible! Is it? I know this. Do I? Is it a joke? No! What? Is it real? Wow! No! Wait a minute. Let me read it again.

Finally I understood how the infinite loop taught in computer programming can be so frustrating. I was reading that again & again and same questions were popping in my mind again. I was so happy, so scared, so relieved, and so confused. All the feelings were playing tug of war with my heart being the rope. Why am I so shocked? I knew this was going to happen. I knew what he felt for me. I knew everything. Didn’t I?

But, why now? Finally I made myself believe that what I felt was ‘nothing’. After more than a year of fighting with myself I made it clear for myself that it’s just an illusion. I don’t like him neither do he likes me. I don’t have feelings for him; rather I can’t have feelings for him.

Thinking about him all the time, waiting for his messages all the time, check again and again if he is online, waiting for just another visit... But, I can control my feelings. Obviously. Those are my feelings. And I’ll decide if I want to like someone or not, if I love someone or not. It’s my decision. It should be. But, what is this feeling I’m having in the pit of my stomach now? Why am I feeling so confused and yet so jubilant?

Season 2: Episode I (:-P)

Destiny!

Destiny! Fate! Luck! Kismet! Bhagya!

Whatever you call it, but I’m sure it does exist. When something is destined to happen, you and I cannot stop it from happening. No! My friends, I’m not trying to hammer any heavy philosophies on your intelligent brains. Maybe, it’s one of those ‘Pyaar ke side effects’, that everything seems, means, a little different than what it used to be. Meaningless songs become deeply meaningful, boring flowers blossom in a way that they look beautiful, wandering clouds arrange themselves to shape your dreams, the cool breeze in the morning tickles you…….. It does sound filmy, but believe me, it happens.

Tanvi, the queen of angels misplaced by the heavens and dropped from clouds to this mere land of humans called Earth. Ever wondered how Mr. Mihir did find her out, out of six billion other human beings? Isn’t it the game of destiny that two people living in different worlds, far away from each other were brought together without giving them any signal or clue? I mean, come on people. You know it. There should be some lightning or some storm or something, right?

None of us were from Pune and yet everything arranged itself in a manner to bring us together. You guys read ‘what’ happened. And sorry to disappoint you, but it’s impossible to explain ‘why’ it happened. Anyhow, ever wondered ‘how’ the stage was set by ‘the game of destiny’? We had no common friends, no way of knowing each other, living far away from each other, busy with own lives and none of us ever believed in the thing that was known as something called ‘Love’.

You know, why I appeared in the stage of action. The purpose was ‘Education’.

Flashback!!! Summer, 2005. I was sitting on the sofa, with legs on the coffee tables, nuts in one hand and remote control in other, at my aunt’s place in Pune. After screwing up my NTS exam, careless about the world, I was surfing from cartoon network to ESPN to Aaj tak to……… Careless, because it was obvious. I did not touch any book for so many days, just to protest my parents’ decision. They wanted me to attend a class in Pune during vacations for the NTSE, and if that was not enough, they decided that I should stay in Pune, complete my junior college and prepare for engineering entrance exams.

Now, I’m sure, many of you, at that moment would have been very happy to finally get out there in the real world. But, I certainly was not… I was in my hometown for all sixteen years of my life with all friends, family, home and my life there. So many plans and pranks with friends were still to reach their destination. So many games were still on the board. So many corners still unexplored. So, it was certainly, surprise for me.

It was three weeks that the cold war between me and my parents was going on. I hardly talked to them, to protest and show my objection. And my parents knew that was going to happen, so, though they were not happy about it, but a little relaxed.

Finally, they decided to have a round table conference with me and asked what my objection was actually?

“It’s very straightforward. I don’t want to go to Pune. That’s my objection. I told you guys that I’ll go outside after my 12^th and I can study from home. So, why should I go to Pune?”, I replied quickly.

Maybe, within 10 minutes I started to think, do I have a valid point here? 15 minutes and I started thinking; my side is certainly getting weaker. 20 minutes, I started to think, do I have a point at all? And as I kept talking, I thought, aren’t I talking rubbish? There was no point to defend, right? Then, what’s the matter really? What am I protesting for? I’m sure there’s some reason. I can feel it from inside. But, then what is it?

And we went on talking and talking. And suddenly I said, “How can you decide something about my life, without asking me even once?”

That was it. That was the reason, I realized. See, my parents, which I can say are the coolest parents one can have, did not even bother to ask me what I wanted then. For all these years, my parents always let me take decisions for myself. And they always supported my decisions, correct as well as wrong ones. And that’s what was bothering me. They took this decision on my behalf and did not take my opinion. It was so simple.

And then within minutes, it was all resolved. I had no dissent now. And Mihir Doot was all set for Pune. That’s how my ticket was booked for Pune.

But Tanvi… From a family belonging to Marwar, Rajasthan, born in Hyd and brought up in Mumbai. Isn’t it ‘Game of Destiny’, my friends, that her family shifted to Pune just a couple of years ago?

Even after coming to Pune, she had made up her mind to go for Fergusson College for her plus two education. And at the last moment, because of just a phone call before entering the admission cell, she ended up with a admit card in SP College. Dice rolled again and I came out of admission cell with the last admit card for the same class.

Believe me or not guys, though we did not knew each other then, the destiny knew what the game is and the dice were in place to roll again and again.

TO BE CONTINUED . . .

Episode VIII

You’re crazy!

So, next day, she took the ‘project details’ from Adi. It was weekend and I was sure she is going to take all those 172800 seconds of Saturday and Sunday to think. Wow! I’ll be on her mind for all this time. That did give me a sense of pleasure.

Thinking about her, reminded me a scene from Rehna hai tere dil mein. Our hero gives the heroine a beautiful art piece and and says ‘Jab tum ghar me akele baithe kuch soch rahi hogi, to bilkul aisi hi lagti hogi.’ And I could see Tanvi thinking about me at that moment.

Even though she did not say anything, I was a little relaxed compared to the last week. It was Monday already. 21^st of July. Three days after knowing that there is someone, who’ll always be caring for her, who loves her more than anything, who’ll be there to fulfill each and every wish of hers. And even after three long days I was not in hurry, though a little anxious and scared from inside.

It was a college day and so there was no chance of receiving anything from Tanvi till the evening. It was just 10 in the morning. So, I was just passing the time and casually I turned on the screen. And OH MY GOD! Just think, if you are an engineering student who’s afraid of getting a YD and now the result is handed over to you, sealed. My condition was similar to that student opening the seal of envelope.

Hiiii ,,

Really don’t know where to start from.. (I don’t write poems like you)… So let me come straight to the point… First of all, you are crazy... means you are mad...

Reading these first few lines, I had no courage to move forward. I felt, I had lost all my strength suddenly. What did go wrong, I asked myself. Did I really hurt her? But, how can I hurt the girl I love more than anything? Yes girl, I am crazy, I am mad. But, for you, and only you. Can’t you see, what is so obvious and clear, through those beautiful brown pearls of yours?

I took some moments to recover and moved forward.

Hiiii ,,

Really don’t know where to start from… (I don’t write poems like you)… So let me come straight to the point… First of all, you are crazy... means you are mad... such a dangerous mail... I’ve not been able to sleep for three days now…

I have been deciding last three days whether to call you up or mail you… But didn’t find courage to call you up… coz even I like you a lot!!!!!!

Even I LOVE YOU!!!!

Frankly speaking, somewhere in my heart I knew almost everything you wrote……..………..

If I would have participated in the olympics race or a dance competition or a scream out loud competition, at that precise moment, I bet on anything that I would certainly have won anything. I eagerly read everything she wrote again and again and again and again and…….

I clicked on reply button and before the electrons could run and reach their destination to make some flip flops active, I closed the screen. Looked here and there, picked up my phone and dialed 997……… And before the operator computer could process the request, cut! The computers must have been very angry with me that day. Anyways, cut!

I got up, jumped a few meters, picking up the keys I shouted, “Mom, I’m leaving for Pune. Going to get tickets for the next bus. Will be back in 20 minutes. Keep my lunch ready.” And without listening to any further query, I accelerated the wheeled devil. No more mails and calls now. It was my, rather our time now.

And within a couple of hours, the bus was speeding towards Pune, crossing Panchganga river, without giving a damn to the resisting, roaring winds, through the crowd of small vehicles, leaving back all the quivering sugarcane fields and those lovable Ghati toned conversations. Only a little journey away from ‘You and Me’ to ‘Us’. Nothing could stop ‘Us’ now, nothing at all.

I was on cloud nine. Ten, eleven or twelve maybe if there is such a thing. Looking out at the burning and slowly setting orange sun, in the sky spread with hues of indefinable beauty, I was moving with that high-speed bus towards Pune. But, this bus was no race to my heart, which already reached to its destination, Tanvi.

A pretty girl, origin of the beauty, wearing Black top with big white dots on it, dark blue jeans, a red and black windcheater, maybe a bag on back and a stole on the neck with a graceful smile as usual on the glossy lips, blushing, pinkish cheeks, mystical, dark hair riding on the cool breeze, gorgeous brown eyes with a pleasing, reassuring substance of her heart and soul with open arms for her Mihir, Tanvi’s crazy Mihir . . . . . .

Episode VII

Long wait!

Post 14^th July, 2008

Anyway, let’s move forward.

Back to 14^th of July. The next step was the worst. To wait! Wait till she reads everything and then Adi was supposed to meet Tanvi to give her, what we called ‘details of the robotics project’. From the second I sent the token of my love, my mailbox was acting like Chatak, a mythical bird who waits for the first rain, as he drinks only the water from the first rains. Similar was my condition, I was waiting for a mail from a specific account.

And this time, my one of my closest friend, Mr. Google, could not help me as the date kept changing and yet no mail was received. 14^th gone, 15^th gone, 16^th left, 17^th departed and yet the arrival of an awaited reply was as predictable as the arrivals of Monsoons in India.

Why is she not replying? No. She will surely reply as soon as she reads my mail. But what if she chooses to not care about me at all? No, no chance. She’ll never do such a thing; her caring heart will not allow her to do that. Then what is the problem? Was she committed already? No way, just no way. Anish’s words echoed, “Dude, I’m warning you. You are running out of time. Don’t expect that she’ll be waiting for you forever.” I lost a beat of my heart.

And a night of October, 2007 flashed in front of my eyes, when I forced her to fill a ‘survey form’ for me, which was supposedly going to remain ‘private and confidential’. And It did remain private and confidential, as I promised, but with me. It was about the belief in love among youngsters. And I have to accept, it was not a professional level job at all. Anyway, I deliberately put some questions, answers to which were damn important to me. Let’s take a look…

· Do you believe in love?

Yes.

· Have you ever been in love?

Yes. (And that’s when I started sweating even though the mercury was indicating single degree temperature)

· Is there any specific reason for believing or not believing in love?

I believe because I can feel it. (Now, what does that mean? Practically what I felt while reading this sentence was, Tera patta to kat gaya.)

So, you see, my fears were not baseless.

But then thinking logically, she must not have read it yet, as she did reply to my messages as usual, like nothing has happened. I’ll never understand these girls. Do they have a sixth sense? Are girls’ brains programmed to maximize boys’ anxiety? Because Tanvi always used to check her mails regularly. But, when I needed her to do that, she did not. And for that they have been gifted with, what we call, sixth sense.

Have a nice day!

18^th July, 2008

Waiting for four long days, I couldn’t take it anymore. On 18^th, it was getting too hot to handle. I had to do something. And then, without wasting another moment I messaged Tanvi, ‘check your email. I’ve sent you some information about a project & Adi has the material related to that.’

Girls! Why do they need details all the time? ‘What project? Which one? When? Why?’ All those W’s again. Isn’t it much simpler to just check the mails than interrogating me? Somehow, I faced that rapidfire round and convinced her to check it out as that will be simpler. I thanked my luck again that moment of truth TV show did not arrive in India at that time. Else, I would have won zero bucks.

Again, the queasy game of waiting. I hate Einstein at times like these. Relativity theory… shows its existence exactly at those times when you don’t want it to work at all. And this was one of those times. The clock was testing and teasing my patience. The second hand of clock was as fast as the hour hand. Damn you clock & basically aren’t these colleges supposed to declare holidays on special occasions and national holidays? This one was as important as those, right? So, why is it still going on? Come on, come on you slow-mo clock. Move like the winning horse in the race course.

After a few hours, I looked at the clock again. It was well past Tanvi’s college time. But then why is my mailbox still empty? Did she not read it? Is she not as eager to read my mail as I am to read her mails? Did she forget? Did she not care about how eagerly I was waiting for her reply? Did she…

‘You’ve got 1 new message’, the pop up declared.

‘Come on Mihir, just open it. What are you waiting for?’, I told myself after staring at the mailbox for over 10 minutes now. Is this it? Slowly I moved forward and opened the mail –

hey... i dont know what to say... can assure u we will always be frnds..

give me some time..

and sorry.. cudnt take the "project" from adi today.. airtel is giving a lot of problems.. so dint find him in college today..

bye.. hav a nice day...

That’s it??? No details, no long girly mail? And what’s this? Some time? Girl, it’s already more than two years, you remember? Couldn’t take the project? Why, why not? I hate airtel from that day and we still have a rivalry. Dint find him in college? Just go to that canteen and you’ll surely appear in no more than fifteen minutes. And now, how the hell am I supposed to have a nice day?

Hmmm. ‘Calm down Mihir, calm down. What else did you expect? You can’t expect her answer in 15 minutes right? Calm down. Let her think and just hav a nice day…’

And then thinking logically, it was the answer that I was hoping for. And the assurance, that whatever happens, we will always be friends, though I wanted to be much more than just friends.

TO BE CONCLUDED . . .

Episode VI

Click!

14^th July, 2008

So… Everything was set now. And that was the problem. This means that I really have to tell Tanvi now. That suffocating yet beautiful feeling I feel when talking to her erupted in my heart again. The feeling that I hated and yet I wanted to have again and again.

& then, just in a moment or two… Wow! It became an amazing feeling when I recalled the girl in those beautiful sketches, the girl described in all those poems. This is a feeling one can never understand until he himself has not experienced it. It is something that reminds you, that someone is out there, whom you love so much that you can do anything for her. And that’s the feeling, my friends, that’s the feeling which gives immense pleasure to your heart.

So… The girl of my dreams, the angel of my heart, the queen of my world, will be deciding now, whether to reward the one who dared to love her, or execute. And the funny part is, the one who was being blamed for the crime of love, was himself a victim of love.

Anyway, I was in Kolhapur at that time, away from the stage of drama, as it wouldn’t have been possible to do all the preparation in Pune with Naren & other friends being there. You see, in Pune, my big bro lives with 4 other friends, including Adi and Aman. And to be honest, one of the main reasons was that, I wanted to stay away from Pune and keep myself busy with anything. And when everything was in place…

…that’s when I clicked the send button. After so many sleepless nights… For the sketches… For those words, words that were going to deliver my feelings to Tanvi… For those poems… For that darling face… And above all, the anxiety, the desire to know what is going to happen kept me awake for nights. And now I had only one thing to do - Wait, just wait patiently.

I recalled everything again and again. Last two and half years kept flashing in front of me. Adi, Aman and Neelam, always supporting me. Aman and Neelam. Though these characters are being introduced quite late and might not seem significant in this story, but they play a very important role in my life and this story too. As I believe, Aman-Neelam is the ideal couple one can find. And they did play a very important role in the whole story.

Neelam was one of the first to know about the tale of Mihir and Tanvi. Even though I did not tell Neelam that I love Tanvi, she realized it in no time. She has some supernatural powers, to know what’s hiding in the heart of the person before her. I feel so comfortable talking to her.

When I was not at all ready to accept that I really do love Tanvi, even though it was quite clear to me, Neelam used another one of her special powers – to make the person before her accept what his heart says. So you can understand how important she is, for this love story to come into existence.

Aman! This is the coolest and foolest (if there is such a word) guy I’ll ever know. He is the kind of person, kind of friend that you’ll think of as an icon. He’s my partner in many crimes and he is the one, on whom I can rely always for anything and everything. Even if I ever plan to kill someone (and that will certainly be some professor), this guy will be the one to bring the weapons.

TO BE CONTINUED . . .

Episode V

Who’s that girl?

Holidays, 2008

So, with these beautiful photos of her as reference, I started my ‘artwork’. And soon, I was in no need of the photos to sketch her, as just by closing my eyes, I was able to see my dreamgirl. I was very happy when I started making those sketches. My sleepless nights got something useful to do. And to my surprise, I was not that bad at sketching. It was very easy to sketch such a perfect, flawless face. I just went on and on, and within no time I had a drawing book full of Tanvi’s sketches.

No guys, everything was not so happy, happy and so smooth. Obviously I had to keep it a secret from everyone. And is it possible that everything will proceed smoothly without anything going wrong?

So, after finishing most of those beautiful sketches, for once, in so many days, I got a relaxing, peaceful sleep. And when I woke up, my eyes just remained wide open. It was my dear cousin Priya talking to my elder bro Naren in my room, with the sketchbook in her hand. And she speaks, “Mihir, who’s this sweet girl?”

Shit! How can I be so careless, I thought. If you guys remember correctly, Naren studies in Pune, in same college as Tanvi’s. But, vacations were going on. And he came home for those last days of vacations. And Priya, of course, if I’m on vacation, she is too.

“Who? What? Uhhm, Oh, that! I… I don’t know.”, Don’t laugh you guys. If you are a soldier and you suddenly find a hand grenade in your pocket without a pin that and is ready to blow as soon as you take it out of your pocket, what will be your condition? Similar was mine.

“Ok. So, who’s this girl?”, she asked flipping the page.

“I said, I don’t know.”

“Then what about this one?”, flipping yet another page.

“Priya, I said, I don’t know. I’m not so good at sketching, so whenever I draw a face it looks the same.”, I defended myself strategically.

“Subah se koi mila nahi kya? Sketching the same face again and again is much more difficult. I’m not a fool, Mihir.”

I had nothing to answer. I just looked at her and I’m not sure what happened, but I guess she understood me. Without any further interrogation she closed the sketchbook and handed it over to me with an understanding look in her eyes. And right at that moment, thanks to my luck and thanks to my mom, who like a savior, called me at the right moment and I rushed out within a second.

I always believe that I’m certainly very lucky and thanked my luck again. But, can’t depend on him all the time, right? So, I decided one thing. Nights for my missions and in the morning everything goes in my locker. And hush, but, thereafter I faced no such difficult situations.

TO BE CONTINUED . . .