Some things change and some things don’t!
Mihir was out of my life and I thought that it’ll be very easy to forget him now, and one day, a friend of mine, Omkar, told me that he likes me. I had no idea what was happening in this universe. What should I do? Do I like him? Do I like Mihir? What about him? What to do?
‘Oh come on Tanvi! Mihir is a lightyear away from you and maybe, he has forgotten about you already.’
‘But then, he does message me everyday, even though I’m trying to stick to my decision to stop being in contact with him. He still thinks about me.’
‘Are you stupid? There is no way in heaven to know what’s in his heart and there is hardly any chance with two of you thousands of miles apart from each other to know it. Nothing is possible now.’
‘But, what if he feels the same way about me?’
‘Same way? You cannot have feelings for him. You have no feelings for him. You cannot like Mihir.’
‘Really? Then why am I thinking about him so much?’
‘Tanvi, get back to your senses. There is a guy who is knocking at your heart, who is saying he likes you and how could all you can think of is Mihir?’
‘Then certainly there is something wrong, isn’t it?’
Duel! Illogical or Dillogical? The duel went on and on in my mind. What to do, what to do? I had no idea what was I supposed to do, what I wanted. And…
And finally I said YES. And yet, I was not really sure whether I really liked him or not. It was a reaction given by my rebellion mind. My confused heart. Rebellion, as I wanted to break the rules, get revenge with my parents for what happened during admissions. My family is what is most important for me, closest to me. And they betrayed me and now it was my turn to betray them. Confused! I knew Omkar for as long as I knew Mihir. But whether I like Mihir? Whether Mihir likes me? Whether I like Omkar?
All those questions were still unanswered. I thought, it’s the best way to forget Mihir completely. Days passed and I thought I was happy with my life and everything was great again… There was hardly any contact between both of us, between Mihir and me.
One day, he sent me some kind of ‘survey form’ to me. A survey form asking, do you believe in love? Have you ever been in love? And other questions like this. I was surprised and a little doubtful, but when Mihir insisted, I decided to fill the form and I hoped that Mihir would read this form. I wanted him to know that I’m in a relationship. And I’m really happy with it. It was not something that I would do. I hardly told anyone anything about us, but I wanted Mihir to know this. I really did not know why I wanted to do that.
One day, suddenly, as if struck by a lightning bolt, I remembered Akshata saying something, when we were in junior college. She used to give me clues about Mihir. She told me once, that there was some guy who waited outside our class for a long time just to see me. She never really told me who it was. And now, I really needed to know who that guy was. I had too. I called up Akshata. At that moment I had no idea what I wanted to hear. Somehow I asked her about that so called rumour.
Mihir. That mystery guy was Mihir. I was kicking myself. I should have been angry on him after knowing this, and yet I was feeling happy to know that, that guy was him. Come on Tanvi, you accept the truth now. You like him. All this time you know it and yet you kept neglecting this fact.
It was pretty clear that he liked me. But, now how can I know whether he still likes me? Maybe he does, maybe does not. It was so stupid of me in the first place to say yes to Omkar. And now when I knew that Mihir also liked me and maybe still likes me, how could I forget him? I certainly needed to talk to Omkar.
Next day, we talked and I was imagining what Mihir would have answered here. Again and again he was coming into my mind. It made me realize, I was cheating all three of us by staying in this relationship. I cannot be with someone, when I had someone else on my mind all the time.
Finally, in an attempt to bring back peace of my mind, I broke up with Omkar… And yet again, I was back to the square one…
TO BE CONTINUED . . .
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